I confess that I am in Tova’s living room, blogging on the biggest computer screen I have ever seen. It doubles as their television and the words I am typing right now are huge.
I confess that today is my third day here and I am beginning to feel caught up on rest after 4 weeks with no parenting break. I look at couples (ie: Tova and hoty), and I can barely remember the days of full-time partnership. Bringing me to…
Confess that when Baby Daddy is over, I have a really hard time handing over the reigns and allowing him to alleviate some of my work burden. I have heard it’s a fairly normal single mama phenomenon, but I think it frustrates him a little. I have come far though.I am now able to allow him to buy me dinner sometimes without huge fuss. I have even let him shovel my sidewalk once. And I have to give him big props for making awesome chocolate chip pancakes and for being right there when it’s time to do dishes, every single time.
I confess that I love being in Vancouver. I get to embrace my inner crunchy and I love it. If I lived in a place with access to cheap produce and organic everything, even if I could regularly be around the collective crunchy attitude that is common here, I think I would choose to live a much purer lifestyle.
I confess that there is nothing like being somewhere that allows me to just rest. If I had stayed at home during this break, I would have felt obligated to keep myself busy with cleaning and organizing and catching up. Those things still need to be done someday, but sometimes removing myself from the situation is exactly what is required. I am so grateful that I am welcomed here to just rest and visit and be the auntie who comes over and sleeps- alot.
I confess that the Big Reveal went fairly well on Valentine’s Day. I knew that Kenya, who had both “a baby brother” and “for my mom to have a baby” on her most recent Christmas list, would be over the moon. She was. They’re all happy, though the youngest two don’t really know why they can’t lift up my shirt and see the baby. Baby Daddy’s oldest was first excited and then torn about her own mama. All feelings are welcome here.
I confess that having this break has refreshed me enough, given me enough free brain space to allow some feelings of excitement about the baby to creep in. If I pause to reflect on the fact that there is a new little person growing inside of me, I can appreciate and feel gratitude for the miracle this really is. Now that I am at the end of the first trimester, I am also feeling ready to start doing little things to prepare.
Have a fantastic weekend!
